Gotham Girls Roller Derby

GGRD All-Stars Rock, Traitors Roll in Weekend Action

by: Thomas Gerbasi
April 22, 2012

These two bouts may be viewed for only a brief remaining period at

Gotham's next live action is Saturday, April 28, when Bronx skates against Manhattan at LIU-Brooklyn.  Tickets at


GGRD All-Stars Rock, Traitors Roll in Weekend Action
by Thomas Gerbasi

Gotham Girls Roller Derby All-Stars captain Bonnie Thunders tripped and fell to the track in the opening seconds of the first jam of her team’s opening bout of the 2012 season Saturday afternoon. For those searching for symbolism in the heart of the defending WFTDA champions’ Crashpad in Brooklyn, New York, would this portend an upset by their New York neighbors, the Long Island Roller Rebels All-Stars?

Nuh-uh. Almost as soon as the incomparable Ms. Thunders’ knee hit the track, she was right back up and already through the pack. Lead jammer. Seven points. Gotham in the lead.

Business as usual.

All the questions that accompany the first bout of a new season were there: Will there be a post-championship letdown? How will a host of new All-Stars acclimate to life on the GGRD All-Stars juggernaut? Will the team wilt under the pressure of having a worldwide target on its back? But Gotham did what they almost always do: win.

Two new members of the new-look 2012 All-Stars: Brazilian Nut (jamming, left) and Violet Knockout (blocking, right).  Photos: Rick Odell

Two members of the new-look 2012 All-Stars: Brazilian Nut (jamming, left) and Violet Knockout (blocking, right).  Photos: Rick Odell

The final tally was an astounding and record-smashing 630-65 over the game group of skaters from Long Island. Gotham’s win was their 15th in a row, dating back to their third place WFTDA tourney win over Philly in 2010. The gals in black came into the bout 26-1 over the last two seasons, and the team's additions to the roster -- Brazilian Nut (101 points), Claire D. Way (a game high 143 points), Mick Swagger (+172 point differential), Slambda Phage (140 points), and Violet Knockout (+181) -- are only making GGRD an even more imposing force.

Patiently pecking away at the outset, Gotham broke the game wide open as soon as Suzy Hotrod hit the track for the first time in 2012, with a 35 point jam putting LIRR in a 58-0 hole. Brazilian Nut added to the Roller Rebels’ misery with a 30 point jam of her own, and from there, it was up to the veteran defensive unit of team MVP Sexy Slaydie, Ana Bollocks, Donna Matrix, Fisti Cuffs, Hela Skelter, OMG WTF, and Sweet Sherry Pie to keep things under control.

And they did, shuttling in the five newcomers who performed as if they had played together with the All-Stars for years. The score was 189-0 before the Roller Rebels got on the scoreboard, and by then, it was too late. Up 298-5 at halftime, GGRD didn’t let up in the second, and while the sports cliché is that the team then coasted to victory, there was no easing of their attack, with Slambda Phage ending matters with a 38-0 final jam.

Left: Mick Swagger and Slambda Phage make their GGRD All-Star debut, blocking against Long Island.  Right: Claire D. Way jams in her first bout wearing the Gotham colors.  Photos: Rick Odell

Left: Mick Swagger and Slambda Phage make their GGRD All-Star debuts, blocking against Long Island.  Right: Claire D. Way jams in her first bout wearing the Gotham colors.  Photos: Rick Odell


                      1          2          F
LIRR               5          60        65
GGRD           298      332      630

LIRR MVP – Miss Tea Maven
GGRD MVP – Sexy Slaydie

Leading LIRR Scorers
Miss Team Maven 19 points (5 jams)
Sweets McBacon 13 points (5 jams)
C-Roll 13 points (6 jams)

Leading LIRR Blockers
ShadowboxHER 17 jams (-318)
Point N. Shoot 15 jams (-294)
Amaretto Sourpuss 13 jams (-260)

Leading GGRD Scorers
Claire D. Way 143 points (8 jams)
Slambda Phage 140 points (6 jams)
Suzy Hotrod 111 points (5 jams)

Leading GGRD Blockers
Donna Matrix 15 jams (+241)
Ana Bollocks 13 jams (+312)
Sexy Slaydie 13 jams (+249)

LIRR Penalties
Minors: 77 Majors: 20 Box Trips: 35

GGRD Penalties
Minors: 45 Majors: 16 Box Trips: 22


The night before the GGRD All-Stars’ opening 2012 win, another set of champions, Gotham's New York State titlists known as the Wall St. Traitors, made it 2-0 thus far in their season, bouncing back from a slow first half start to win their second bout in five days, outlasting Bloomington, Indiana’s Bleeding Heartland Rollergirls in Brooklyn’s Crashpad, 128-98.

Bout MVPs were Pippi Strongsocking for the Traitors and Shock ‘n Roll for BHRG. Bruzin’ Brody led the Wall St. scoring attack with 74 points, while KaKa Caliente paced her team with 53.

Defense ruled the early going, as both teams battled it out on the inside without giving up much to the jammers trying to get through the pack. A 17 point jam from BHRG’s Nuck L. Sammie put her team up 30-17 in the ninth jam of the bout, and while the Traitors kept it close, the Indiana squad kept their composure and the lead, with a stellar effort from Shock ‘n Roll paving the way for a 56-48 halftime lead.

The back and forth defensive struggle continued in the second half, with BHRG doing just enough to keep Wall Street from overtaking them. But with penalties starting to rear their ugly head, BHRG got to the point where it was left with just one skater on the track, and with eight minutes gone in the final half, the Traitors got a four point jam from Molly Flogger to knot things up at 60.

BHRG’s Terror D’Bits put her team in the lead again on the next jam, but two jams later, Bruzin’ Brody, repping her home borough of Staten Island, tore through the Heartland pack for a 24 point effort and a 84-62 Traitors lead.

Brody’s jam proved to be the turning point of the bout, and while BHG eventually cut the Traitors’ lead to 88-80, that’s as close as they would get, as Brody, Molly, and Bonita Apple Bomb closed the show offensively, while Mayday Malone, Jensurgency, Ginger Snap, Hop Devil, Megahurtz, Rocket, Sk8 Crime, and the returning Miss American Thighs kept the gates locked on defense in the pivotal closing jams.



                        1          2          F
BHR                56        42        98
WST                48        80        128

BHR MVP – Shock ‘n Roll
WST MVP – Pippi Strongsocking

Leading BHR Scorers
KaKa Caliente 53 points (13 jams)
Nuck L. Sammie 30 points (14 jams)
Terror D’Bits 15 points (11 jams)

Leading BHR Blockers
Shock ‘n Roll 25 jams (-32)
Doc Doc Noose 25 jams (-35)
Bombshell Shock 23 jams (-20)

Leading WST Scorers
Bruzin Brody 74 points (12 jams)
Molly Flogger 28 points (14 jams)
Bonita Apple Bomb 13 points (5 jams)
Hop Devil 13 points (6 jams)

Leading WST Blockers
Miss American Thighs 21 jams (-18)
Mayday Malone 19 jams (+45)
Sk8 Crime 15 jams (+30)

BHRG Penalties
Minors: 59 Majors: 21 Box Trips: 32

WST Penalties
Minors: 51 Majors: 19 Box Trips: 26

Stats compiled with Rinxter